Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Boobies on YouTube

Seeing tits (0:25) in YouTube is like finding a hundred bucks in a bag of trash.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Must See Films In 2012 - Part 2

6. Prometheus (June 2012)

Prometheus is an upcoming science fiction film which follows a group of characters taking some kind of journey in an extra terrestrial world, supposedly in search of the origins of human race.

The trailer doesn't really show much. Not even a glimpse of Charlize Theron's ass. It was revealed, however, that the story dates forward to the end of 21st century and is somehow connected to the 1979 film Alien. I wasn't born yet that time so I'll cut the crap and skip to the next film.

7. The Dark Knight Rises (July 2012)

Christian Bale reprises his role as billionaire Bruce Wayne and caped-crusader-at-night Batman. Filmed in several locations including Glasgow, India, London, Los Angeles, Newark, New York and Pittsburgh, the film takes place eight years after the events of The Dark Knight.

I've seen enough. I don't care, I'm dragging my wife to this movie.

The film also stars Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle, with Anne having to work out five times a week to fit her role in a tight leather suit costume. Also featured is Tom Hardy as the backbreaking villain Bane. If you will remember, Tom also started to pump iron a few years ago to make the transition from this Van Wilder-esque guy to this human juggernaut that he is today.

8. The Bourne Legacy (August 2012)

Now directed by Tony Gilroy, the new spin-off won't feature Jason Bourne or Matt Damon. Instead, the film centers on Jeremy Renner, who plays CIA agent Aaron Cross. According to Renner, the film will features "new set of agents with a different leash".

It was also confirmed that the crew will soon start shooting some of its scenes in various locations within the Philippines, including a car chase scene in the notorious EDSA-Taft Avenue. For those of you wondering how tough it is to drive in the Philippines, you may want to hear it first hand from a London Bus Driver.

9. The Expendables 2 (August 2012)

The much awaited sequel to the star studded, old school testosterone fest The Expendables.

Aside from the previous line-up of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the new film feature action film veterans Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, as well as new comers Liam Hemsworth and Yu Nan.

You don't hire Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris hires you.

10. Skyfall (October 2012)

The 23rd sequel of the James Bond movie franchise comes back this year with another promise of Daniel Craig’s modern version of 007. Personally, I prefer watching Craig portray the MI6 agent more than Pierce Brosnan, for the reason that Craig is more agile and capable of bringing further action to the table.

It was confirmed that Skyfall will not be directly related to Casino Royale and Quantum Of Solace in terms of events, and it was announced that Ralph Fiennes would be reprising the role of MI6 head ‘M’.

Oh, and Naomie Harris will be this year’s Bond girl, Field Agent Eve.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Must See Films In 2012 - Part 1

2012 promises movie fans tons of badass films that are sure to keep your hairy ass glued to your couch. Sorry, no fucking Twilight here, son. You go mail your ass to fucking Oregon and come back here when you’ve grown into a lumberjack of a man.

And here it is, the Macho Barbero picks for the year (sorted by nudity exposure release date):

1. Underworld: Awakening (January 2012)

Any movie poster that has the words ‘Kate Beckinsale’ printed on it is going to be one movie worth watching. Guaran-fucking-teed. At the same time, who doesn’t want to see a fine ass woman in tight leather suit?

In the latest sequel of the franchise, Beckinsale resumes her role as vampire Selene,  who was captured by humans shortly after the events of Underworld: Evolution and was subsequently imprisoned for 12 years.

She escapes imprisonment and found out that humans have learned about the existence of both the Vampire and Lycans, and as such, have raised an all-out war to eliminate both species.

I didn't bother to include any other cast. That's what you do when you have Kate Beckinsale in a movie. But to make up for it, here is Selene’s smoking scene from the previous Underworld: Evolution

How that actor survived from blue balls of this magnitude I’ll never fucking know.

2. Contraband (January 2012)

An action thriller featuring two of my favorite artists -- Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale (her second film this month).

Mark plays the role of Chris Farraday, an ex-contraband dealer who was forced return to action to help save his brother-in-law after messing up a deal with a prominent drug lord. 

The story, ala Gone In Sixty Seconds, is sure as hell loaded with guns, drugs and hopefully, some Kate Beckinsale "scenes".

3. Safe House (February 2012)

This is another action thriller featuring Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds. The story takes place in South Africa where a CIA operated safe house was destroyed by rebels, forcing the facility's new keeper Matt Weston (Reynolds) in charge of moving and protecting a protected criminal, Tobin Frost (Washington).

While Reynolds has yet to prove he's worthy of an action star status, Washington is a proven badass of whoop-assing.

On a totally unrelated note, Reynolds' ex looks insanely hot.

4. Wrath of the Titans (March 2012)

A sequel to the 2010 film Clash of the Titans, the film takes place 10 years after its predecessor. Perseus, who is still portrayed by Sam Worthington, now lives a peaceful life as a fisherman. He now has a 10 year old son, Helius.

Remember 'Io', the unbelievably hot nymph? Yeah, she's not here. FML.

In the story, another war has started when Hades and Ares teamed up with Kronos to capture Zeus. For those who don't give a rats ass about Greek Mythology, Kronos was the leader of the first generation of Titans and is the father of Zeus. He was overthrown by Zeus and was imprisoned in Tartarus.

It is still a fucking mystery why the idiot producers didn't cast Gemma Arterton.

5. The Avengers (May 2012)

The much awaited film of this year will feature four (4) of previously featured Marvel superheroes, alongside new characters.

Captain America: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?
Tony Stark: Uh genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.. and the son of the guy who made your shield, jackass.

Captain America (Chris Evans), The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Ironman (Robert Downey Jr.) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) will be joined by other Marvel characters Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson). Together they form the "Earth's mightiest heroes", The Avengers.

Black Widow checking the 'Earth's mightiest ass cheeks' for any post battle wound.

Dreaming Of Pauleen Luna

How this guy got to fucking date Pauleen Luna I'll never know. The fact that he was already 34 when Pauleen was just born in this world tells me this guy has some issues.

But hey, who are we to judge! Let's just enjoy these shots of Pauleen while she still has it!

Doesn't it remind you of a typical porn movie "Old man has a young dream" ?

Boss Vic, you are one lucky S.O.B.

Friday, January 6, 2012

What Is The Craziest Thing You Did For A Bet?

We've all been there. Wagers ranging from a few couple of bucks to wearing pink speedos and even losers wearing the New Orleans Saints jersey on Letterman. The spirit of this good act of sportsmanship is acknowledged by ESPN in their new video above.

Share us your crazy and memorable bets with the Macho Barbero by providing your experience in the comments section below.

The Wonder That Is Perrey Reeves

Who wouldn't want to be Ari Gold? Seriously.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Happy Three Kings!

Who is more fitting to be featured in this entry than the gorgeously enticing Karylle Tatlonghari nibbling an ice cream? Props: Write Away